Thursday, November 15, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
I Should Have Domesticated That Bat. What A Badass Pet.
My friend Jesse and I were talking and something he said made me realize that I don't really have close friends here.
Mike is 7 hours away. Abbie is across the country. Emily is in the land of School And Boyfriend. And of course I only start feeling like this when everyone is asleep or out with people.
It just kind of sucked to realize that every time I talk to anyone about anything serious they are hours and hours away from me. I have awesome people around me, I have FRIENDS, but I just go to school and come home. I've been invited to do something outside of school exactly once this year, and I was busy the day she wanted me to come over. Or at least I said I was. I don't even remember if I was actually busy or not.
I feel like my good moods are so precarious, like it takes nothing more than noisy roommates or a bad practice session to make me so inexpressibly angry. I'm totally fine during the day, I'm in classes that I enjoy and around people I like and thinking about Christmas. Then I come home and I get angry and sad over little fucking nothings. It's wrong.
WOE IS ME THE MIRACLE OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY IS NOT ENOUGH FOR ME.
Abbie, I get it now. I know it's not the same because I'm near home but I get it as well as I'm ever going to.
I'm putting this here because it's the closest thing to anonymity I have. I need to get out thoughts like this but I'm not putting a fucking sob story on tumblr or something.
This was supposed to be a really short post.
Mike is 7 hours away. Abbie is across the country. Emily is in the land of School And Boyfriend. And of course I only start feeling like this when everyone is asleep or out with people.
It just kind of sucked to realize that every time I talk to anyone about anything serious they are hours and hours away from me. I have awesome people around me, I have FRIENDS, but I just go to school and come home. I've been invited to do something outside of school exactly once this year, and I was busy the day she wanted me to come over. Or at least I said I was. I don't even remember if I was actually busy or not.
I feel like my good moods are so precarious, like it takes nothing more than noisy roommates or a bad practice session to make me so inexpressibly angry. I'm totally fine during the day, I'm in classes that I enjoy and around people I like and thinking about Christmas. Then I come home and I get angry and sad over little fucking nothings. It's wrong.
WOE IS ME THE MIRACLE OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY IS NOT ENOUGH FOR ME.
Abbie, I get it now. I know it's not the same because I'm near home but I get it as well as I'm ever going to.
I'm putting this here because it's the closest thing to anonymity I have. I need to get out thoughts like this but I'm not putting a fucking sob story on tumblr or something.
This was supposed to be a really short post.
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