The Case Against Internet Dating, or, An Essay For Pasta's Aunt

Song of the Day: Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel

So Michael and I were talking about some silly ideas his aunt has, and I jokingly said I'd write an essay about why she was incorrect. But I think my reasons for never being interested in dating someone I met on the internet are very logical and I haven't really hashed them out here yet, so...yup.

1. Distance. I would never enter into a long-distance relationship if that's how it started out. Obviously my own relationship will soon have about 6 hours between its participating parties, but I'm okay with that (not exactly happy about it, mind you) because by then we'll have had about 9-10 months of ACTUAL relationship under our proverbial belts. A relationship that starts as a long-distance one is extremely difficult to continue because you can never see that person; you never get to hug them or kiss them. You don't get to go to movies together or have date nights or just sit and do homework together. You (most likely) have to worry about time differences when you call them. I just feel like every time you saw each other in real life, you'd have to get comfortable with them all over again. If you got to know each other in person, I think it makes a period of long distance a bit stronger because you have a stronger bond that makes you committed to making it work.

2. False/incomplete identities. This sort of ties in with distance, I guess. But it's really hard to genuinely get to know  someone over the internet, at least on a dating level. Like, you can only have a hypothetical relationship. You can talk about how you both love hiking, but you can't go on one together and get the bonding experience of overcoming a challenge together. You can't cuddle, you can just say "I wish we could cuddle." And when the hell are you supposed to say "I love you?" That's something that comes out naturally during a quiet moment together (unless you're Elizabeth Swan, then it happens right before a hanging). Call me old-fashioned, but I just don't think you get the full effect of someone's company without, you know, their company. You miss out on their mannerisms and how they treat you physically. What if your boyfriend is super gropey and you have no idea? I have friends on the internet whom I trust and who trust me, and I wouldn't hesitate to call them my friends, but isn't it a little odd to say you've never met your boyfriend/girlfriend?

3. Bad References. As the good friend of a fairly prominent internet personality, I've seen multiple relationships that started via the good ol' internet. None of them lasted long. One of them went particularly poorly, but I'd rather respect her privacy by not divulging the details of that particular one. I think the reason her current one is working out is because they can see each other on a semi-regular basis. I've seen other people be like, "You can totally get to know someone on the internet!" And my response is alway that you only get to know what they want you to know. You see the strengths they want to display and the weaknesses they are comfortable with sharing. They may share everything and they may not, but you'll never get the depth of character that you get from physically being with someone.

This is too long. But there are my reasons. I would never date someone I met on the internet for those reasons, but I am more than happy to be FRIENDS with people I meet on the internet in spite of them. "But Emma, friendship is still a strong bond." Yes, but it's a very different bond and requires different levels/types of vulnerability that, in my opinion, require the other person's physical company.

Banks out.

Too lazy to find post-relevant lyrics today.

Ramblin', where to begin

Song of the Day: Always On My Mind by Phantom Planet

I'm supposed to be studyiiiiiiing. But frankly, I had two finals this morning and I want to give my brain a wee break before diving into studying for my next one, which is at 3:30 so I have a bit of time.

I don't really have a direction for this post. Let's go with Summer.

Summer for me starts after my last final (environmental science) on Thursday morning. Since the dude is graduating, we're going to Seattle with his family for some on-the-house (read: paid-for-by-his-parents) fun. A nice lunch somewhere and a Mariners game, and then his dad is giving us a wad of cash to go do whatever we want on our own that evening. It looks like we're going to go see Prometheus in IMAX and then hit up Beth's for late-night noms.

Then...summer. Nothing major planned for it, really. Pretty much zero dollars to spend on going anywhere. I'm house/catsitting for my parents while my dad goes down to California in July, but that's kind of my Big Exciting Thing for the season =p Unless you count moving, 'cause I'm doing that too. That should be fun.

I really need summer clothes. I have exactly 2 pairs of shorts and 1 is unflattering. I have basically one wearable-in-an-everyday-way dress. And about 2 tank tops. Which I guess won't really be a problem if the weather continues on in its current fashion. But I have stuff I could sell to contribute toward clothes monies and I can't believe I have the urge to shop.

This is seriously the dullest post ever. I thought I had way more to say than this. Ohhhh no the Sleepy is hitting me WHAT AM I GOING TO DO.

Things I Like: Having my food paid for (by my parents, if anyone else does it I squirm), getting a bigger room, seeing Abbie, watching Cheers all summer, fruit season.
Things I Do Not Like: Not having a car (though biking will probably improve my health), feeling guilty about taking the bigger room even though a small room is currently giving me an anneurysm, being the only one in that big room, and the likelihood that August will arrive all too soon.

Dangit, the second list is longer. Ummm I also like Seattle, and finals being over, and seeing my kittens, and having a TV (which I won't feel guilty watching because of all that biking I'm going to do), biking, doing wedding stuff with Steph because I don't like weddings but I like her.

I don't know if any of this made sense or had any substance whatsoever. I'm gonna...go surf tumblr and eventually study for my theory final. Or something.

Summer arrives with a length of lights / summer blows away / and quietly gets swallowed by a wave / it gets swallowed by a wave. -Summersong, The Decemberists