This is just me organizing the rest of my summer because I can't QUITE do it within the confines of my brain.
JULY:
-Visit home - wedding planning, dress alterations, Dark Knight Rises?
-Move Mike's stuff to Eugene
-Move apartment stuff to house
-Move Mike to Eugene
AUGUST:
-Stay in Eugene / get Mike settled
-Go to Ashland, try not to be stressed about the fact that his parents paid for the trip
-Possibly stop in Portland on the way home?
-Steph's bridal shower (what do you get your sister for her bridal shower??)
-Drive to Redding with Steph to visit grandpa
-Get Mike's birthday present in there somewhere
SEPTEMBER:
-Practice face off
-Get pieces up to par for re-audition into symphony
-Refresh theory and piano abilities
-Figure out buses to and from school
-Get Mike's belated birthday gift to him
-Finish Maid of Honor toast oh my god have you seriously not done that yet??
-Do not get over-stressed about things because everything is fine and everyone is okay and life is really great most of the time and remember that time things were boring and how much that sucked?
Monday, July 16, 2012
Friday, July 13, 2012
Why am I so bummed
I have absolutely no right to be this bummed
And I'm taking it out on people I love
I don't know how I got to such a bad place
I decided to stop drinking for a bit because drinking when I'm sad is bad news
And now I keep getting cravings for shitty food because I eat my feelings
But I have Catholic levels of guilt when it comes to food
And I just really need to be okay because Mike needs me right now.
This whomps.
I have absolutely no right to be this bummed
And I'm taking it out on people I love
I don't know how I got to such a bad place
I decided to stop drinking for a bit because drinking when I'm sad is bad news
And now I keep getting cravings for shitty food because I eat my feelings
But I have Catholic levels of guilt when it comes to food
And I just really need to be okay because Mike needs me right now.
This whomps.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Ranty Blawg
Song of the Day: Lookout for Yourself by Julia Nunes
Disclaimer: I am not genuinely upset by the subject of my following rant. Momentarily annoyed, perhaps.
I am pretty much bored to tears so I figured, why not write a blog entry that no one will read?
I get weirdly touchy about Emily and Jake's relationship. Like, how affectionate they are in front of other people. I feel like I SHOULD think that's lovely and adorable and really great, but it annoys the crap out of me. I'm in a very good relationship, so it's not a bitterness thing. And I hate PDA, so it's not like I wish I got more public action. So what bugs me?
I feel like there's a weird bubble around them. Like they don't realize how FUCKING ridiculous they're being. They just flop all over each other and he can't walk by her without leaning down for a kiss and it sounds stupid as I'm saying it but it's just sort of unpleasant to be around. Mostly/especially when I'm the only other one in the house, because they act like I'm not here, or they don't care that I am, or they wish I weren't. Sorry, I'm not retreating to the confines of my room so you two can REALLY go at it. You can go to YOUR room for that.
I think for me, affection is a really private thing. Like sitting next to each other and being close when other people are around is fine, but save the smooches, nuzzles, fondles, gropes, googly-eyes, foot massages (they do that one with weird frequency), and other uncomfortable-to-watch things for behind closed doors. When they do it around me, I'm suddenly intruding on a really intimate moment without intending to do so. They're over a year into their relationship, so it's not like they're in a honeymoon stage. I would be fine with that, it happens to everyone. I think things will cool down once they've lived together for a little bit and aren't over the fucking moon every time they're in the same room together. I'm glad they're happy, I really am. And that's why I don't say anything. Because I know they're just excited to be moving in together and all lovey-dovey about it. And they'll relax after a while once they realize that they can spend time together whenever they want, and they don't have to be touching each other with at least 40% of their bodies at ALL TIMES.
It's like smart phones. I don't use mine when I'm having meals with people or supposed to be conversing with them because I've been on the other end of that one one too many times. I don't like participating in PDA because I've been made uncomfortable by it a BUNCH of times. Intimacy is called that for a reason. If you do it (excessively) when other people are around, it just feels like you're doing it to be a showboating asshat, not because it's genuine. It's no less meaningful if no one is watching.
We'll go walkin' but nobody's talkin' / 'cause everything just seems clear. -Song for Lauren by The Harmed Brothers
Disclaimer: I am not genuinely upset by the subject of my following rant. Momentarily annoyed, perhaps.
I am pretty much bored to tears so I figured, why not write a blog entry that no one will read?
I get weirdly touchy about Emily and Jake's relationship. Like, how affectionate they are in front of other people. I feel like I SHOULD think that's lovely and adorable and really great, but it annoys the crap out of me. I'm in a very good relationship, so it's not a bitterness thing. And I hate PDA, so it's not like I wish I got more public action. So what bugs me?
I feel like there's a weird bubble around them. Like they don't realize how FUCKING ridiculous they're being. They just flop all over each other and he can't walk by her without leaning down for a kiss and it sounds stupid as I'm saying it but it's just sort of unpleasant to be around. Mostly/especially when I'm the only other one in the house, because they act like I'm not here, or they don't care that I am, or they wish I weren't. Sorry, I'm not retreating to the confines of my room so you two can REALLY go at it. You can go to YOUR room for that.
I think for me, affection is a really private thing. Like sitting next to each other and being close when other people are around is fine, but save the smooches, nuzzles, fondles, gropes, googly-eyes, foot massages (they do that one with weird frequency), and other uncomfortable-to-watch things for behind closed doors. When they do it around me, I'm suddenly intruding on a really intimate moment without intending to do so. They're over a year into their relationship, so it's not like they're in a honeymoon stage. I would be fine with that, it happens to everyone. I think things will cool down once they've lived together for a little bit and aren't over the fucking moon every time they're in the same room together. I'm glad they're happy, I really am. And that's why I don't say anything. Because I know they're just excited to be moving in together and all lovey-dovey about it. And they'll relax after a while once they realize that they can spend time together whenever they want, and they don't have to be touching each other with at least 40% of their bodies at ALL TIMES.
It's like smart phones. I don't use mine when I'm having meals with people or supposed to be conversing with them because I've been on the other end of that one one too many times. I don't like participating in PDA because I've been made uncomfortable by it a BUNCH of times. Intimacy is called that for a reason. If you do it (excessively) when other people are around, it just feels like you're doing it to be a showboating asshat, not because it's genuine. It's no less meaningful if no one is watching.
We'll go walkin' but nobody's talkin' / 'cause everything just seems clear. -Song for Lauren by The Harmed Brothers
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