My boyfriend is a turd

Why, you ask?

I'll tell you why.

Because we both sat on our asses and did nothing all day. As a result, I cannot sleep and am currently awake skyping with Abbie. It is two in the freakin a.m.

My boyfriend is a turd because HE is sleeping like a goddamn kitten. A kitten that sounds like a dragon slaying a pig. He's a noisy sleeper at times. Hello 2:00, goodbyyyyyyyyye filter!

Not that that was a particularly intimate detail. I'm still coherent enough to not share those. But not coherent enough to avoid splitting infinities. Infinitives, I mean. Man, splitting infinities. That's some Doctor Who shit right there. NeerNEERNEEEEEEEER. WEEEEEWOOOOOOOOO.


I need to get rid of him somehow so I can film a video. I've got it all scripted and everything. Maybe I can send him to the store tomorrow. The video might actually be good this time. It's about being homeless without being actually homeless.

I'm thirsty but water makes noise. Stupid sleeping turd. I can't tell if this is obnoxious or funny. If you think this is funny you should see me drunk. I start talking about how I'm a rhino. In the best possible sense.

I FORGOT I HAVE A HORSIE ON MY SIDE HEY HORSIE.