Why, you ask?
I'll tell you why.
Because we both sat on our asses and did nothing all day. As a result, I cannot sleep and am currently awake skyping with Abbie. It is two in the freakin a.m.
My boyfriend is a turd because HE is sleeping like a goddamn kitten. A kitten that sounds like a dragon slaying a pig. He's a noisy sleeper at times. Hello 2:00, goodbyyyyyyyyye filter!
Not that that was a particularly intimate detail. I'm still coherent enough to not share those. But not coherent enough to avoid splitting infinities. Infinitives, I mean. Man, splitting infinities. That's some Doctor Who shit right there. NeerNEERNEEEEEEEER. WEEEEEWOOOOOOOOO.
I need to get rid of him somehow so I can film a video. I've got it all scripted and everything. Maybe I can send him to the store tomorrow. The video might actually be good this time. It's about being homeless without being actually homeless.
I'm thirsty but water makes noise. Stupid sleeping turd. I can't tell if this is obnoxious or funny. If you think this is funny you should see me drunk. I start talking about how I'm a rhino. In the best possible sense.
I FORGOT I HAVE A HORSIE ON MY SIDE HEY HORSIE.
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ARUUUUGELA. ARUGELAPHARMPH. WALK NORTH FOR CAKE. LESSTHANSIDEWAYSEIGHT. HEY THAT KIND OF RHYMED EXCEPT FOR WHEN IT DIDN'T OGODINEEDSLEEP.
ReplyDeleteHow to get boys out of the house 101:
ReplyDelete1) Start talking about your period
2) Some sort of Quid pro quo (Go and get me chocolate chips and I'll make cookies)
3) Tell him that there is a free video game giveaway/naked women/monster trucks somewhere
4) Pull out the Damsel in Distress card
5) Reverse Psychology
Will you teach me how to Skype? I got an account when I bought this webcam, but I am intimidated by it xD
The first one is flawed because he's thoroughly nonplussed by period talk (he's actually more comfortable with discussing such things than I am sometimes). The video game thing might work. I've got my hackles up about his new school because it's a division 1 sports school and there are super hot ladies everywhere, so I'm not going to go with the naked ladies one xD If I pulled out the DiD card he'd know something was up. Yeah, I think video games are the way to go.
DeleteHAha Skype is pretty straightforward, but I could probably answer whatever questions you have. Just not tonight, I'm sort of done with the world tonight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM? Periods should frighten any boy.
DeleteI get most of Skype, but there's all these fancy emoticons I don't understand. And is there some sort of cam etiquette? Oh and will you be my, whatever word they use on Skype that means buddies, on Skype?