Song of the Day: Starlight by Muse
I have this weird thing where when people ask how I am, not matter how little they care or how obligatory their asking is, I don't want to lie. I mean if I'm at work and someone says, "Good morning, how are you?" I'll probably respond with, "Not too bad, how are you?" But for some reason, if I'm not doing well, I really don't like saying I'm doing well.
Keeping that in mind, I saw two people today who I've been missing a ton 'cause they've been off doing the whole college thang. Well, one has, the other is pretty much doing the same thing as me just in Portland. And when we were hugging and exchanging "How are you's" I automatically responded with, "I'm good!" (grammatically unsound, I know). Which is something because recently I've been saying, "I'm all right" or "I'm okay." And yes, I'm stressing about school and auditions and junk like that, but certain things that have been a little heavy lately don't seem to weigh on me quite as much anymore. Which is awesome.
Tonight was so awesome. It was just so nice to sit down with Zach and Lucas and Lauren and Gus (who I hadn't actually met before but he seems pretty cool) and even though it's been ages since we saw each other, we just fell back into being so comfortable around each other and aside from a few check-in questions about what we're doing in the fall, it was like nothing had changed. And no matter how much shit they gave me about my height (I think Gus was the only one under 6 feet apart from me), I couldn't help loving them so, so much. I think college agrees with Zach, he seems to laugh more easily and more genuinely than he did senior year. That was nice to see.
Pretty much every time I laugh, my eyes water like crazy. And when that happened tonight, I realize how little I laugh. This year, at least. It's not that I'm unhappy, exactly. It's that I've just been around friends so little since September. I laugh REALLY easily (I actually used to get teased because it was so easy to make me cry from laughing), so when I'm with a bunch of people my eyes are just streaming constantly. And since everyone moved away, if I've been with a friend it's generally just been one and things tend to be more mellow in those situations. I love hanging out one-on-one. But being with a group is pretty fantastic too. I think it's just a different energy, and that's why the laughter is different. I've seen Lauren off and on because she lives close, but with Zach and Lucas it was like, "Damn, now I remember why it was so hard to stop missing you."
Well this has been an exceptionally mushy and sappy post. I'd better leave it here. I haven't been unhappy, per se, but this is a certain angle of happiness that I had semi-forgotten.
Plus the Sounders won against RLS! Woop!
When you're alone / Who comes around / to pluck you up / When you are down? -The Vultures, The Jungle Book
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