Love or Some Shit Like That.

Song of the Day: Stay Awake by Julia Nunes

All right, kids. It's February. And February brings with it one of my least favorite days: Valentine's Day.

"But Emma," you may say, "you have a boyfriend; shouldn't you be excited about the prospect of such a day?" And to you I say HUSH, FIEND.

My dislike of the day was never predicated on the fact that I had no significant other, so the fact that I have one now does nothing to assuage my disgust. It is a stupid day and that's all there is to it (isn't it funny how I say that and have yet to go into quite a bit more detail?). Let me explain how each demographic is supposed to feel about Valentine's Day:

Men in a relationship: "Oh god, she's going to expect jewelry. She doesn't wear fancy necklaces that often...I'll give her nice earrings. No, she already has earrings just like the ones I'd get her. That ring is nice. Oh no, a ring is my only choice. Now I have to ask her to marry me. I can't get married. YOU JUST GET A BOX OF CHOCOLATES, YOU MANIPULATIVE BITCH."

Women in a relationship: "No no, it's a GOOD thing. It's a nice easy day for guys to remember; it's an opportunity for them to make up for not getting us stuff for our birthday or forgetting our anniversary. We don't want much, just dinner at a nice restaurant, 12 red roses and diamonds in one form or another."

Single men: "Welp. I'm gonna go get wasted with my other single bros."

Single women: "I'M GOING TO DIE ALOOOOOONE!!" *chugs wine* *binges on chocolate*

And I hate that when a single person dislikes Valentine's Day, people are like, "Stop being a bitter single, it's just about love in general, not romantic love." Or, my personal favorite, "We're enjoying OUR love, not rubbing it in the faces of other people." Oh. Oh, sweetheart. Yes you are. I've actually heard someone say that single people shouldn't be out on Valentine's Day because then it's their own fault they're sad because they are forcing themselves into the situation of watching happy couples celebrating their relationships. So now, in addition to being reminded of their singleness (which, in our society, is portrayed as an inherently BAD thing, which is utter excrement), people who aren't in relationships aren't even allowed to GO OUTSIDE because then they're just making THEMSELVES feel bad. Okay. Just so we're clear. And you're still trying to convince me it's about "all types" of love?

Bullshit.

It's about romantic love (true, my dad used to bring home flowers for my sister and me as well as my mom on VDay, but that's because my dad is awesome). Yes, there is a little part of me that dislikes it because it rubs relationships in the face of singles. It says, "If you don't have a significant other, you DON'T GET to participate in this holiday." But there are other reasons. Red and pink look stupid together. The gamble chocolates are rarely very good. Valentine's Day cards are generally sappy. It's an excuse for girls to justify asking guys to spend a lot of money on them. It can make some single people feel awful. It's DUMB.

And like, doing something for someone on Valentine's Day almost makes it an obligation instead of a genuine gesture. As I type this I'm realizing you could apply the same logic to Christmas, but for some unjustifiable reason the two seem different to me. Like Christmas is about loving and appreciating EVERYONE in your life, regardless of what TYPE of love you feel for them, and purchased gifts aren't necessary for that. But there's a very prescribed list of things you give to / do for your lady on Valentine's Day. You take her out to dinner. You give her something sparkly. You give her roses. You fuck her a little bit. Maybe you get coerced into watching a Meg Ryan film or something. You go to bed feeling like you've dodged a bullet and can't afford so much as new socks for the next 7 months.

My point: it's dumb. It just feels contrived and forced and obligatory and manipulative and greedy.

I want to yell at all the bummed-out single people, "You are all loved! This holiday is stupid and is trying to make you feel bad about your situation! NOWHERE is it written that you are less complete without a spouse! PLEASE value yourself as a person and stop believing this bullshit that you are only worth something as part of a couple!"

A disclaimer: I'm not saying that being in love isn't awesome. It really is. But my point is that Valentine's Day isn't about love the way everyone says it is. If it were, there would just be ads everywhere saying, "Tell someone you love them and mean it." No. It's about getting stuff. Which is such a hideous use of someone's love for you.

I'm not really rant-and-rave angry, just DEEPLY disappointed in humans. Love isn't always romantic, and gifts do not a solid relationship make. No one type of love is stronger than another, they all deserve celebration and they all deserve it DAILY, not annually.

End rant.

I'm glad I didn't die before I met you. -First Day of My Life, Bright Eyes