Things

Song of the Day: Short and Sweet by Julia Nunes

Things that are on my mind, mostly just in an attempt to organize them.

1. She is worried and it is my job to make her not worry. I don't want her to worry. I want her to be the happiest person in the world and if any worrying needs to be done I want to take care of it for her.

2. They're getting all ish'd out about moving in together. I just need to sit her down and tell her it will be okay, listen to her concerns and help her work through them. It makes me so sad to see them both backpedal away from something that will most likely make them both really happy. I know it's scary, but I hope that talking to someone on the other side of it will help.

3. Similarly, I hope my very relevant past will help with her current worries. I was scared, too. I know it's a big deal because it's total foreign ground, but I want to see her take the leap. It's not even a leap. It's a little hop that may or may not turn into a leap. Again, I know it's easy to yell, "Jump!" when you're already on the ground. But it's not like I'm yelling, "Jump into a pit of crocodiles!" I'm yelling, "Jump onto a huge fluffy pillow that you may or may not want to nap on!" ...I think I just broke the metaphor.

4. I am incredibly happy for him and so so proud. And I know it will be fine. But that won't make it any easier to watch him leave.

5. I'm so determined to do well this quarter. I feel like I have to prove that what I do takes real time and real work. I know it does, but I can feel people not taking my goals seriously. Maybe that's just paranoia.

I don't mind if you can't be with me all of the time / so be on your way / no, that is not what I wanted to say / I just want you, / no, I need you to stay. -Lullaby, Julia Nunes