Squid Are Angry, So...Cuttlefish of Disappointment?

Song of the Day: Shake-A-Booty by Hank Green

I wish I'd known the song Shake-A-Booty when I'd posted that entry about dancing the other day. The lyrics would have been PERFECT. Ah well. C'est la vie.

That being said, that is one of the most fun songs I've ever heard. I'm really stoked to move out so that I can play songs like that in the main part of the house without being questioned about it xD

I know I said I would write a happy post today, but I really need to talk about a friend of mine. And this is probably one of the most privately public places that I can do so.

So this girl was pretty awesome in high school (we became friends when I was a junior and she was a sophomore). We bonded over being cellos together in Chamber Orchestra and our mutual love of Disney and Harry Potter. She was always opinionated, but rarely disrespectful. She gave the respect that she demanded from others, and I admired that about her. She was confident and ambitious and a good leader; in sectionals she didn't take over, but she didn't hesitate to make suggestions and she shut us up when we weren't listening to the section leader. She adored books and knew she wanted to work in publishing. The only truly negative thing I would say about her was that she was a little clingy when it came to her boyfriend.

And then he dumped her.

That was pretty much where it started. I heard through the grapevine that she had taken up smoking weed as a coping mechanism. I didn't berate her for it because I knew she was incredibly upset and figured it would be a phase because I knew her to be strong enough to eventually deal with it on her own. But she didn't stop. And I didn't really realize how bad it was until I started following her tumblr. I found out that her life revolves around weed now, and she smokes normal cigarettes too. She parties all the time, getting drunk and sleeping around. And she tried cocaine the other night.

I don't know what to do. We haven't talked lately, but I feel like we were close enough at one point for me to be able to say something to her. But would she listen? Would she even be sober enough to hear me? It's such a 180 from how she used to be. The girl I know is strong. She respects herself and makes smart decisions; she knows what she wants and works for it. The girl I know is a Ravenclaw, but the one I see now doesn't even have a place at Hogwarts.

When I hear other people say, "I wanted to say something, but I just couldn't," I always think, "No, you could have. You just didn't want to. How hard is it to SAY something?" Truth is, it's hard. It's really fucking hard. Every time she signs on to Skype I want to message her and tell her this stuff. I want to say, "I love Nicole and I'd like it if she came back." I don't know what the result would be, if we would end up fighting or if we could talk about it. I honestly think she isn't over her ex-boyfriend yet and hasn't let herself deal with it. She's just such an electric kind of girl and now that she's started doing harder stuff, I'm really afraid of how much could get fucked up. I know she's better than this, but I'm worried that no one around her is reminding her of that. I really hope that when school starts it will slap some sense into her before something really bad happens. Because right now I'm struggling between deciding whether say something to her is my responsibility or completely meddlesome and out of line.

Okay. That's all. Look, a cute cat to counter this downer post!

That's Sebastian, my special favorite of our two new cats. Not the best picture, I know, but he wasn't holding still very well. He's a very handsome boy.

Weary

Tell me you will hold me

When wrong, will you scold me

When lost, will you find me?

But they told me

A man should be faithful

And walk when not able

And fight 'til the end, but I'm only human.

-Will You Be There, Michael Jackson